Intercourse can mean different things. As presented in this chapter, it is an intensely private and delicious act. You can use it to honor and expand your relationship at the same time that you are doing satisfying things with your body. It is also what couples do when they want to create new life. We try to present it with a level of feeling and intelligence not normally found in popular books on sex that mostly focus on positions.
To learn more about the role of intercourse in sex, this book has invaded the privacy of three young adults, Dick, Craig, and Laura. Laura used to go out with Dick, and now she's involved with Craig. Here are their stories:
DICK
Dick is a very nice-looking guy who won his fraternity's "Mr. All-America" title two years in a row. Dick has a nice job, a nice social manner, drives a nice sports car, wears nice clothes, has nice biceps, triceps, and pecs, and goes out with nice women. Since this is a book about sex, you might as well know that Dick has a tree trunk of a penis that stays rock hard from dusk to dawn. A former girlfriend referred to it as "the sentry."
CRAIG
Craig is the same age as Dick. Craig is a sports writer. Craig is no longer eligible for the Mr. All-America contest. During a football game a few years ago, Craig went airborne to catch an overthrown pass. On the way down he got sandwiched between two spearing linebackers. Craig's spinal cord snapped, and he hasn't been able to walk or have an erection since.
LAURA
Laura is a fine young woman who just left a big corporation to form her own company that makes sporting gear. Laura's had sex with both Dick and Craig. Let's see what Laura has to say about these two different men.
"Dick's the kind of guy that many American women have been raised to worship. Parading him around your friends or taking him home to your parents would win you the female equivalent of the Breeder's Cup. I've always really enjoyed sex, and until recently I could never understand why a woman would want to fake an orgasm. But it didn't take too many nights with Dick before I started faking orgasms. There was Dick, Mr. Right Stuff, making picture-perfect love. I didn't want him to think there was something wrong with me since I couldn't get into it like he was, so I started faking orgasms."
"Craig is nowhere near as perfect as Dick, but he has a great sense of humor and he is genuine. Craig is able to laugh at himself, which Dick never could. Craig has taken the time to learn exactly how to kiss, touch, and caress me, and the sex I have with him is great. When I'm with Craig I don't need to fake a thing."
"This may not seem relevant to your question about sex, but I work in a totally male-dominated business. I have to think like a guy from morning to night. Sometimes it leaves me feeling alien from my femininity. With Craig it's easy to find it back again. Craig never wakes me up at 3 a.m. with a hard-on poking in my back, but he feels just as masculine as Dick. With a lot of guys there's a huge difference between how they treat you in bed and how they treat you the rest of time; with Craig that's not the case. Maybe that's another reason why sex is so nice with him, even if it's not intercourse."
Okay, so here we have Dick, more functional than a Sidewinder missile. He fulfills everybody's definition of what a sexual athlete should be. Then we have Craig, who redefines the term sexually dysfunctional. If Craig had the same erection failure but no spinal-cord injury, psychologists and sex therapists would collect a small fortune trying to make him "normal." At the very least, they would have him munching down blue boner pills as if they were M&Ms. And probably Prozac, too.
And finally, there is Laura, a woman who enjoys sex a great deal. She is telling us that the man who can't get it up is a more satisfying lover than Mr. Erectus Perfectus.
In telling you about Laura, Dick and Craig, the intent was not to dump on intercourse. Intercourse, when it's good, can be one of the sweetest things there is. What this book is dumping on is the assumption that intercourse is good just because it's intercourse and that a man is a man because he can get hard and fuck, or that a woman is a woman because she can get wet and fuck him back.
"Oh God—It's like describing the universe. It feels like I might explode and can't wait to but at same time want it to last forever. Breathless, hot, turned on in the extreme. I want to engulf and squeeze his penis, get it in me as much as possible. I love the connection of it." female age 48
"When his penis first enters me I want to feel every inch of it because it is exquisite. I feel like I need it inside me and I don't know if I can describe that. The actual sensations of his penis sliding in and out of me are sometimes over-powered by the pleasure I feel all over my body, so I don't necessarily concentrate on the intercourse." female age 23
"As he enters me I feel myself spreading open to accommodate him. Emotionally it feels right that he is inside of me. I have a feeling of fullness when he is inside me. I can feel the head of the penis as it slides in and out and can feel my vagina collapse or expand around him. If he plunges deep I can feel the head of the penis bump my cervix, a not altogether unpleasant feeling. From rear entry I can feel the penis more acutely rubbing the top of my vagina." female age 37
"It feels different every time. Sometimes it is very satisfying. Sometimes it hurts inside my vagina if I'm not lubricated enough. And sometimes when his penis hits my G-spot it takes my breath away!" female age 34
"At first I feel the light pressure of my partner's penis against my unopened vagina. It is often deeply pleasurable to feel the head penetrate, and then a slow, smooth slide all the way in, and a jolt of excitement when my lover's penis is completely inside me. The most sensation is around the outer part of the vagina, but there is also a pleasurable feeling of fullness when he is fully inside me. My hips want to move and match his strokes, or create my own rhythm for him to match. Different types of strokes and rhythms create different sensations." female age 47
"The first thrust is the most vivid for me. I like to slowly slide down his cock and feel it go up me. I love it when he is trying to hold back from coming; I can feel him get more swollen and hard and I get very excited when I feel that. It actually is the time when my vagina gets the most pleasure from intercourse." female age 23
"It depends on how sexually excited I am and whether I'm in the mood or if I'm just doing it because he wants to. If I'm into it, it's like ecstasy!" female age 43
"I enjoy the pumping and grinding a great deal. I love it when we are rubbing our pelvic bones together and when the penis is in deep." female age 21
"My favorite part of intercourse is when he comes; his entire body stiffens." female age 55
"I'm strictly a clit person. I love having sex with men, but I don't like intercourse." female age 36
