"I grew up in the country. We had neighbors, Amos Wheatley and his wife. One night while washing dishes, Mrs. Wheatley told my mother that she let Amos 'use the other hole.' Then they had a baby girl, and I heard my father comment that Amos must have got it right at least once. Sometime later, Amos, who was uneasy about the expense of having a new baby, told my father he'd rather have had a team of horses. My father said, 'Isn't that expecting rather a lot of Mrs. Wheatley?'" —The recollections of a 71-year-old woman, as told to Julia Hutton in her Good Sex: Real Stories from Real People, Cleis Press (1995)
Some couples would rather drink goat sweat than try anal sex; others enjoy an occasional rear-end soiree. You will be hard-pressed to find too many parts of the body that have more nerve receptors than the anus. This, rather than the perverse thrill of it all, is why some people enjoy anal massage or anal intercourse. It is an enjoyment that cuts across all orientations and sexes.
Whether you are straight, gay or somewhere in between, the chances are good that at some point in your life you might try anal sex. That is why the topic is covered in this book. Please be aware that this Guide couldn't care less whether you do or don't practice anal sex, but it does have a few suggestions in case curiosity nips you in the rear.
Although sex includes much more than intercourse, if someone says they had sex last night, we assume they had vaginal intercourse. When you add the modifier "anal" in front of the word sex, we assume that it was the same penis going into the same pelvis, only using the back door.
Yet one of the nicest forms of anal pleasure comes from anal massage, where nothing is inserted into the anus. As anyone who has ever had a hemmhroid will tell you, the anus is alive with nerve endings. A well-lubed finger or thumb massaging the outside of the anal opening can bring subtle but wonderful waves of pleasure to any partner who can allow him- or herself to receive it.
"I hate admitting this, but I like it when Dave wets one of his fingers and slides it into my anus. It is a huge turn-on, and there are times when it makes me orgasm. The only problem is pulling out. It always hurts coming out and usually throws off my bowel movements for the next few hours. It feels like I have to go...." female age 26
"When Erica is all worked up, she sometimes really likes me to massage her anus. When I slip a lubricated finger inside her, it is often the thing that puts her over the edge. If I have a finger inside her vagina and one in her anus, she reacts very well to the sandwiching of the wall when I press the two together. Other times, she really hates it when I touch her there. I can never quite guess when it's going to be a green light." male age 25
Rimming is a slang word for kissing ass, literally. It means sticking your tongue up or around your partner's anus. Keep in mind that it's probably not a good idea to rim just anyone, as it can be an effective way of getting hepatitis and intestinal parasites. In a one-night stand or brief encounter, cut a condom lengthwise and lay it over the person's anus before licking.
One gastroenterologist has said that by the time a couple has been together for a couple of years, they pretty much share the same anal flora. This means you probably won't get anything more from licking your partner's anus than you would from licking your own.
Anal sex--Penis into Rectus--is often associated with homosexuality. However, it appears that 30% to 40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, and that's just intercourse. While 2 to 5 million straight American couples are said to practice anal intercourse with regularity, only about 50% of gay males bury the weenie in the wazoo.
The remainder of this chapter is about the kind of anal sex that includes something going in the anal opening, be it a penis, finger, butt plug, or dildo.
Some women offer anal sex as a way of keeping their virginity. Some men offer anal sex as a way of getting work in the entertainment industry. Some couples like anal sex because it's forbidden. But the most obvious reason why people have anal sex is because they enjoy the way it feels.
"Anal sex helps me feel a whole different part of my vagina and vulva. The fact that it is so tight and kind of nasty is a turn-on to me too." female age 23
"My wife asks for anal intercourse on occasion, usually late at night when she is very aroused and her inhibitions are down." male age 41
"I can come from anal intercourse, but not from vaginal intercourse." female age 32
"Both of us like it. I will sometimes put a finger in her anus while we are having intercourse. It's very exciting for her, and I can feel my penis through the wall, which I find to be very erotic." male age 39
Most people have the notion that the only reason women do anal sex is to please a male partner. Not a single woman in our survey who does anal sex mentioned anything about pleasing a partner. Each one said she did it because she liked the way it feels. Some women report getting an extra-intense orgasm when they stimulate their clitoris at the same time that they are having anal sex.
As for men's pleasure, some enjoy having their anus massaged or penetrated, and some report having memorable orgasms when their prostate gland is being pressed. Seldom do men have an orgasm from anal stimulation alone. Usually it includes penis stimulation.
A final reason that some couples do anal sex is for birth control. It is possible that anal sex is practiced as birth control in countries that take seriously the Catholic Church's opposition to contraception. Perhaps this isn't what the Vatican had in mind. Or maybe anal sex would be a hot concept in these countries regardless of where they pray. Is anal sex an effective means of preventing pregnancy, or can ejaculate run out of the anus and into the vagina? Pregnancies from anal sex are common enough that the term "splash conception" is used to describe them. Perhaps this is how people with anal-retentive personalities are conceived.
(This chapter is continued in the book.)
