It used to be "sex toy" meant getting yourself a vibrator or dildo. Vibrators were one of the first electric machines created back in the 1800s, and they have been a hit ever since. Other useful toys include bondage devices for people who are into BDSM, good old-fashioned butt plugs, and some of the really cool double dildos. Additional spicer-uppers include adult literature and DVDs.
Of course, sex toys aren't what they used to be. In recent years, sex toys have become the new Tupperware, with people selling them at parties, on the Internet, and anywhere else you can think of.
So rather than being a fluff piece on the joys of sex toys, this chapter takes a more balanced view. It hopes to broaden your notion of what a sex toy is in a relationship, and it looks at what makes a toy sexy. It has suggestions for how to size a dildo, and it considers when a partner might feel threatened by your vibrator or dildo. Also, while sex-toy aficionados will call this blasphemy, keep in mind that there are lots of people who don't use sex toys and still have wonderfully fun sex lives.
Before investing money in the latest sex toy or getting your hopes up that the hype is real, why not think about what it is you want a sex toy to do for you? If you are trying to get a sex toy for a partner, think about the things that turn him or her on. If your gift doesn't resonate with a lover's fantasies, it will end up being just another buzzing piece of plastic or a suggestive whatever without any sexual oomph.
Another thing to ask yourself is, "Would my partner prefer flowers and the latest book by her favorite author?" "Would he like it better if I got him a new computer gizmo or brake cable for his mountain bike rather than this strange looking sex toy that he's supposed to stick up his ass?"
As for haphazard sex-toy shopping, let's say you are a woman who is trying to rev up her partner's interest. You could always buy him a thick sleeve-like vagina-device that he sticks his penis into. Forget that it might feel like the vagina of a woman who's been dead for two weeks—the websites that are selling it claim it's even better than blow-up dolls! Or you could take a smarter approach.
NOTE: Over the years we have tried a $1200 sex-toy device that had nothing on a $20 vibrator. We also tried a $600 male masturbating device that made you appreciate just how good your own hand feels. Just because it's supposed to be great doesn't mean it's great for you or your partner.
You might find that the perfect sex toy for your lover is one that you use on yourself. Perhaps he'll be turned on by watching you use it. Or make a deal with your partner: she selects a toy for you to use on her, and you select a toy for her to use on you. Then go shopping together. The neat thing about using toys in this way is they help you reveal new things about yourself to your partner, and vice versa. Sex can get boring when you think you know all there is to know about the person you are sleeping with.
[continued in the book]
A Woman's Touch
Blowfish
Good Vibrations
JT's Stockroom
Toys in Babeland
You can find a kit that's specially designed to mold your man's penis on the web at www.artmolds.com.
