There must be some person somewhere who can make small talk with a total stranger and walk away with a phone number. He or she shouldn't waste a dime on Internet dating. For the rest of us, finding a date through the Internet can make good sense. It gives you access without requiring you to ever visit a singles' bar or attend a singles' dance or social.
On the other hand, you will want to be alert to ways that Internet dating services are starting to market themselves. They want you to believe that the Internet is the way to meet your life's mate.
The escalating Internet dating service wars are focusing on alleged marriage-success statistics. What they don't want you to know is the first round of Internet-dating service divorces are starting to be filed. They don't want you to know that Internet-dating relationships are just as fragile and the divorces are just as messy as they are for couples who didn't meet online.
Contrary to their ads on TV, there is absolutely no magic to Internet dating services. Researchers have tried and tried to come up with ways of matching singles. Their results have been dismal failures. Internet dating services cannot match you any better than you can match yourself. They simply allow you to sort through a large pool of single people—nothing more, nothing less.
Before you join Internet dating services, take a hint from your old friends at Goofy Foot Press— consider reading two books that have a different emphasis, but compliment each other nicely:
I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book—A Commonsense Guide To Successful Internet Dating by Evan Marc Katz, Ten Speed Press (2004).
Virtual Foreplay—Making Your Online Relationship a Real-Life Success by Eve Hogan, Hunter House (2001).
The Katz book is funny and well-written. It will tell you what you need to know, from choosing services to creating an effective personal profile. Virtual Foreplay takes a more psychological look at the emotions involved. Eve Hogan is a therapist who has made Internet dating her area of expertise. She speaks about the need to have compassion and respect, and many of the tips she
offers are excellent. However, people around here nearly gagged at statements such as, "The attention is placed on aligning your virtual presence with your real essence and using the experience as a process for growth." Does anybody have any idea what that means? And if anyone at Goofy Foot Press ever uses the word "soulmate" in a serious way, nuke us. In fact, be safe and nuke the entire state.
You will be amazed at how many different types of Internet dating services there are.
