Romance is something thoughtful that you do for someone you love. It's the Gorilla Glue that holds a relationship together. It's lube for above the belt instead of below.
Romance can be as simple as leaving a note on the refrigerator that says "I love you" or giving an unexpected hug. It can also include heroic gestures, like helping your partner do his taxes, or scouring the tile in her skanky-looking shower, or taking a whole day to organize your lover's Nightmare-on-Elm-Street closet.
Contrary to what the ads in newspapers and television tell you, romance does not need to cost a thing. There's not a single thing about being romantic that should require the folks at MasterCard to increase your credit limit. You are deluding yourself if you think that the only way you can be wildly romantic is by increasing the national debt.
Try not to assume that romance will result in sex. Romance resides in a special universe somewhere between Platonic love and carnal lust. Romance can evolve into sex, and the sex can be wonderfully romantic, but it's just as possible to have a perfectly romantic evening and end up in bed alone. When that happens, you do what the rest of us have done since the beginning of time: you lather up Little Willy with his favorite brand of lotion and romance him yourself, or you pull out your trusty Hitachi Magic wand and caress the front of your panties with it.
