Most books on sex written for a predominately straight audience have an obligatory Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered chapter. Authors include them like they do gender-neutral pronouns. But the truth is, there is no way this material can or should be covered in only one chapter, or in only ten.
So Paul did surgery on the obligatory GLBTQ chapter from prior editions and included only what made him smile, especially The Guide's hard & wet steamy fiction reading list for young adults who are thinking about exploring same sex relationships. How many respectable, mainstream books on sex include any thing this useful?
This chapter now has the goal of getting you to think about just one thing—any one thing—differently about sex than you did before you read it. If it is able to do that, then it has done more than most GLBTQ chapters in most books on sex.
People tend to take their sexual orientations very seriously. Boundaries are seriously staked out and rigidly enforced. So, what would happen if....
...If the head of the Lesbian Women's Caucus found herself being turned on while standing behind the cute guy at the hardware store who was on a ladder grabbing a box of screws? Is she suddenly less of a lez—as she would be the first to accuse any other lesbian who admitted to lusting over a testosterone-drenched male pelvis? And what if she had a fantasy of the hardware boy easing her down on the newly-displayed lawnchair recliners in Aisle C, as she eagerly spread her legs, clutching a Tiki Torch in each hand, while he slid his big bolt of a boy boner into her "women's only" area?
...If a gay male cheerleader finds himself looking up a cheerleader's skirt and suddenly wonders about something other than whether she waxed her bikini line correctly? Or what if he feels compelled to sneak a pair of her panties from her workout bag to see what it's like to jerk off into them? Is he in danger of having to surrender his subscription to Honcho and his 2(x)ist coutour pouch briefs??
...If a totally straight guy gets tossed into the slammer for twenty years and has a non-exploitive, loving and tender sexual relationship with his cellmate, Bubba? And if after the parole board lets him skedaddle and his choices are no longer limited by the situation, he still misses Bubba?
Would any of these people be less of who they think they are if these egregious violations of their assumed sexual identities were to occur?
This book doesn't much care what your sexual orientation is, but in case you do and you are wondering how people with same-sex attraction learn about theirs, here's a very funny description from author Ellen Orleans:
"At What Age Do You Know You're Homosexual? As you might imagine, this varies greatly. Guys seem to be aware of their sexuality early on. A single erection while watching Batman free Robin from the clutches of the Riddler provided many young men with their first clue. One gay friend told me that his childhood role models were Bert and Ernie. For others, it was Skipper and Gilligan.
"Women seem to discover their sexual orientation more from personal experiences. Although I didn't realize it at the time, my first clue was when I zipped up Bobby Wolinsky's fly for him in the second grade. My teacher said this was not proper&mdasthat that was a boy's private area. At the time, I didn't see what the big deal was. Guess I still don't."
—From Who Cares If It's a Choice? Snappy Answers to 101 Nosy, Intrusive and Highly Personal Questions about Lesbians and Gay Men, by Ellen Orleans, Laugh Lines Press, (1994)
Of the various sexual orientations, which is best? We have no clue. There are times when life and relationships totally suck no matter what your orientation; being straight is no guarantee of happiness, nor is being gay. Straight is what most people think they are, and it is usually easier to be part of the majority no matter what the subject. Easier, but not necessarily more satisfying.
In case you grew up under a shrub and never heard about cruising, there is an interesting phenomena where guys who enjoy having sex with other guys hook up on the spur of the moment to have totally anonymous sex. Words or names are seldom exchanged. You give or get a quick glance of approval, and one guy's dick is out and the other is on his knees or is grabbing his ankles faster than either man can say, "Thank you, Craigslist!" (Hooking up by computer has become an important part of cruising. The Internet has become the new trailhead, with meeting locations decided online at crusingforsex.com, adam4adam.com and bigcocksociety.com.)
Of course, a lot of straight people shake their heads and say, "Gay thing." But what percent of straight males would suddenly cruise for sex if straight women started dropping their panties on park trails for all comers? It would be just as high as the percent of gay guys who do it now. In fact, during the 1800s when the brothel was an extension of the American bedroom, the only thing that kept most single men from having sex with a different woman each night was how much money he could afford to spend.
"Ah," you say, "that's just proof that all males are pigs, straight or gay."
Well hold your horses, little lady.
In our totally unscientific sex survey for the website of this book, we have been asking women a big "what if" question—what if they never had to worry about being pregnant, catching an STI, or being called a slut? Would they be doing sex differently than they are today?
Of the women under age 24 who are in exciting new relationships, the answer is pretty much, "No—well, maybe a little, but I'm pretty satisfied." That's to be expected at the start of anything new that is sexual. But a solid half of women who have taken the survey say they would be having more sex with more men if they didn't need to worry about the things that women need to worry about.
