This chapter was written for women readers, although the men who have seen it claim to be amused. The topic is boys and their toys. Hopefully the following pages provide some insight into the love, and sometimes hate, relationship between a man and his weenie.
As a woman, the first thing you will find out about penises and testicles is that most guys take them way too seriously. There are reasons for this:
—The penis is the only childhood toy that a guy gets to keep and play with throughout his entire life. It is the only toy he will ever own that feels good when he tugs on it, that constantly changes size and shape, and is activated by the realm of the senses. Try to find that at Toys'R'Us.
—One of the first things a man does when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing he does at night is to touch his penis and testicles. It's a male ritual of self-affirmation that has little to do with sexual stimulation. A daytime extension of this is known as pocket pool.
—The average male pees between five and seven times a day. Each time he pees he has a specific ritual, from the way he pulls his penis out to how he wags it when he's done. When he is peeing alone a guy will often invent imaginary targets in the toilet to gun for. An especially fine time is had when a cigarette butt has been left behind. Floating cigarette butts are the male urinary equivalent of the clay pigeon. While this may be a difficult concept for a woman to fully grasp, it does make for a certain amount of familiarity, friendship, and even self-bonding between a man and his penis.
—Another bathroom-related matter has to do with visual reinforcement. How many women look down when they are peeing to see what's coming out of their bodies? Guys look down often. As a result, we males get visual reinforcement for the feelings we have in our genitals when we pee. While women experience a hand-eye-genital experience when they use tampons, it's usually not all that visual, and it doesn't start until after puberty. Between erections, corrections, pocket pool and peeing, guys have far more sensory experience with the penis than most women have with their vaginas.
(continued in the book)
