"Define orgasm? It's somewhere between a hand grenade and a sunset." —Mr. Billy Rumpanos, lifetime surfer and early friend of Goofy Foot Press
One of the many nice things about sharing sex is having orgasms, also known as coming. But orgasms are not without their mystery. Perhaps it might be helpful to consider a few comments about orgasm from Dr. Frieda Tingle, the world's leading expert on sex:
Q. Dr. Tingle, what do you think of sex in America?
A. I think it would be a good idea.
Q. Do you think Americans are too concerned about orgasms?
A. Whose? Their own or their neighbor's?
Q. In general.
A. Orgasm is very important for many Americans because it tells them when the sexual encounter is over. Most of these people enjoy competitive sports, where some official is forever blowing a whistle or waving a little flag to let them know the event has ended. Without orgasm, they would be fumbling around, never knowing when it was time to suggest a game of Scrabble or a corned-beef sandwich.
Q. What kind of things affect a person's ability to have an orgasm?
A. One important factor is diet. Many times I have been told that it is impossible to have an orgasm after eating an entire pizza. I assume this has something to do with the Italian religious taboo against sexual abandon. Another factor is the weather. Many patients have told me that if the window is open and they are being rained on, it is particularly difficult to have the orgasmic experience....
(Dr. Frieda Tingle is the alter ego of Carol Tavris and Leonore Tiefer.)
The best way to define orgasm is to put your hand in your pants and give yourself one. But this assumes that you are able to give yourself orgasms and that you don't have six different kinds when you do. Perhaps you will find the following definition to be helpful:
—Orgasms are extra-special sensations that people sometimes experience while being sexual, either alone or with a partner. They occur after a certain threshold of excitement has been crossed and can last from seconds to minutes or longer. A sense of well-being or relief often follows. This might be due to a release of pain inhibitors following orgasm. For instance, studies have shown that people with arthritis sometimes get pain relief for three to four hours after having an orgasm.
—Orgasms often feel as if they are being broadcast from the genitals or pelvic floor, although there is no reason why they can't come from other parts of the body.
—Some people experience orgasm as a single, tidal-wavelike surge of sensation with a couple of brief aftershocks; others experience it as a series of waves, genital sneezes, or bursts of light, color, warmth, and energy. Some describe orgasm as creeping up on them and slowly flooding their senses. Some of us experience it as an explosion while others call it a whisper.
—Some orgasms make you feel great; others can be wimpy and disappointing. Some orgasms are strictly physical; others are physical and emotional. Some reach into the body; others reach into the soul. Some are intense and obvious; others are diffuse and subtle.
—The way an orgasm feels can vary with different types of sexual activity; for instance, oral sex orgasms might feel different from intercourse orgasms. Masturbation orgasms are often the most intense, but not necessarily the most satisfying.
—Orgasms with the same partner are likely to run the gamut from totally spectacular to downright disappointing. It depends on the particular day, and whether your worlds are colliding or are in sync.
—Some people have orgasms when a lover kisses them on the back of the neck; others need a stick or two of dynamite between the legs. The amount of stimulation needed to generate an orgasm has nothing to do with how much you enjoy sex.
(Continued in the book)
